I'm petrified of nipple chafing. Once it starts, it's a vicious circle. You have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more. It's a tough one. Gotta take precautions.

Okay I guess I’ll blog. I’m sure you have all missed me so very much. Well, Olympia was absolutely amazing. Then we came back to Athens for one night where we got two free pizzas so that was successful. The next day we went to Delphi, which is quite possibly the most beautiful place in the world. There were huge mountains and water in the distance. We ate at this restaurant that had such good pasta and a chicken Caesar salad. I have missed regular salad so much. We went and saw the stadium in Delphi and the temples. This was the site where the oracle would be. The only problem is that it is becoming tourist season as well as a lot of class field trips so the sites are a bit crowded and obnoxious. Lots of gingers too so that’s infuriating. We counted and took several pictures at Delphi. I love learning about the athletes but sadly our class doesn’t study the athletes too much. We did get to see a pool that was just for lounging about and relaxing so I like to think it was a giant hot tub. When we were standing on the street in front of a valley that led to a mountain one of the funniest kids I have ever met said this to the girl Keegan in our group, “I want to get some perspective on how far that mountain is. Kegs, throw a rock.” I couldn’t breathe due to laughter for quite some time. We also drank water out of the springs that were once used to cleanse yourself after pollution. So people who murdered people would come and just rinse off here and all was good. And then we all drank it. Sounds good. I feel like a better person. My insides have been cleansed of miasma. Now I won’t have to feel the wrath of Hera for being such a terrible person.

Demeter represents the women who let themselves go after getting married. This is why she has temples because she would be inside and not seen by the public. I like to think of her temples as a kitchen basically. It’s okay to make sexist jokes, I’m a girl. Just like how Ezra makes the best Jewish jokes in the group. Takes the fun away from the rest of us because we’re not nearly as funny when we try to make Jew jokes as he is. He’ll walk into a room and just shout, “Everyone put away their pennies.”

We also hiked up a mountain in Delphi. I’m not entirely sure why people do that for enjoyment. It was exhausting and a weird combination of hot and cold. There was a house at the top and some seating areas and I was absolutely baffled by this. Was this place frequently visited enough to have this stuff here? If so, people are nuts. It was an incredible view from the top and I wish I could stay there for longer. Except people do camp up there and that sounds insane. On the way down, one kid adventured off to find a cave while we waited for him and he came back walking weird holding something behind his back. When we asked what it was, he pulls an animals jaw bone out from behind his back and yells, “Petrified! I am petrified!” I nearly peed my pants it was so hilarious. He told us it was terrifying, lots of animal bones. I asked if it was anything like the Lion King and that I wanted to go. We walked over there and it was ridiculous. So. Many. Bones! They felt fake and it was a really weird thing to see. We took one and put it by the entrance as a “warning” because we’re lame like that. Then we let the same kid go on another adventure. This kid is ultra clumsy and hilarious in that way. He comes back to tell us he found massive cows. He also waited a few minutes before telling us this story: “Some birds flew out of a cave and startled me. I fell on a rock.” I laughed for extended periods of time. On the way down the mountain, once we could finally see the street I could no longer walk down the path. Muscle control was just gone, having bad knees is fun. So I started to run knowing very well I would fall. Which I did. Twice. It was hilarious. The first time I fell the first thought that popped into my head was that I should do a volleyball roll to stand back up. I agreed with this and began to do one, then realized I never learned how to volleyball roll and am completely incapable of doing such a thing so I ended up just rolling on my back for a few feet. That on top of running into every bed corner and countertop have given me some very bruised and abused legs.

One of the funnier things I have ever done was accomplished at the site of the oracle. We found a hole in a wall that took you through a tunnel underneath and around the Temple of Apollo where there was a group of 30 or so Spanish students looking incredibly bored. One of the ways you could exit was under a rock that two girls were sitting on with their feet dangling. Clearly I had to crawl out there and completely disrupt and shock the class who were absolutely unaware of this hole and tunnel. After getting the attention of my class from a different exit of the hole, I crawled back to the exit near the girls, composed my laughter, and moved the girls feet and crawled out onto the grass near the temple about 4 feet from the professor who was standing and lecturing. I found it hilarious and walked off holding in laughter, but the best part is that the class and professor thought nothing of it. I think one person gave me a look. Not a single person laughed except the people in my class. This was hilarious to me. Please imagine you are about 45 minutes into a lecture sitting in the hot sun on an archaeological site and a girl just crawls out from under two people right into the middle of your group. This would be uncontrollably funny if it happened to me. I honestly don’t think I could come back from that. Good times. I’m still “That American” no one likes.

Now we are back in Athens. We studied at the Acropolis, which was pretty amazing as you could guess. Saw a lot of gingers and some tool in an all grey sweatsuit that would have been too small on me. Got some pictures of that. Our professor used the word “boobies” and now I like her a lot. Today we went to the Agora on the Acropolis, which is where the boule would meet so basically where public speaking started. I had to give a presentation about rhetoric and appropriately bullshitted my way through it. I think it went really well. I got to make the joke about how public speaking is the number one fear second to death so someone would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy at a funeral. I didn’t use “like” or “umm” or “ughh” the entire time so that’s good considering some people in the class tally that. Hilarious.

So my roommates and I have a rotation for who purchases this drink called “Gordon’s Space.” It is unbelievably delicious. As Rachel Berry would say, “It tastes like pink!!” We go to a kiosk and buy out the entire fridge of them which is usually 6 or 8 so not too bad, just very hilarious and as Nicolette said as I walked away from one with a plastic bag filled carrying it like a baby, “That’s not embarrassing at all.” Nicolette also said, “Wait. You have a rotation for who buys out all the Gordon’s?” Yeah, we’re losers.

Last night was karaoke, which we finally got to go to after missing it for weeks. It was a lot of fun, I sang Grease “We Go Together” and Madonna “Like A Prayer.” An old man with a harmonica told me, “You’re very entertaining up there. Can’t sing worth shit, but still funny.” My friends called me over because they met a kid who was from Canada but was born in Chicago. Not thinking much of it, since Chicago is a big popular city I asked where he was born. He told me Hinsdale. I said “Hinsdale as in Hinsdale Hospital!?” Everyone laughed at me because of course he was born in a hospital. This absolutely blew my mind. I was in Athens, Greece at karaoke night in a sports bar talking to a Canadian who was born in the exact same hospital as me! This was insane to me and still is. I told everyone and I don’t think they find it nearly as amazing as I do. Whatever, I think it’s pretty crazy. This place is not real. One more thing that proves that, my roommate couldn’t find her earring and it showed up in my bag today. Okay Kelsey’s bag. Okay, maybe I took it and don’t remember. But whatever, this place is magical and unreal.

My friend bought a shirt here that shows a rhino running on a treadmill looking determined at a poster of a unicorn like that’s his goal. So funny.

Oh, our shower situations
The one night we stayed in Athens: Same thing with the open shower at always in Athens, but it faced the glass slab this time so there was about 12 inches of room to fit in to shower in the corner. Smart.

Delphi: Similar to the shower in Pylos where the dolphins attacked. The curtain was white so it was a crazy experience to be feeling like it was suffocating you as if you were Morgan Freeman in his last scene of Lucky Number Slevin. Also, the shower head would not stay on the wall so you either had it facing and spraying at the wall, had to hold it in your hand, or do what I did and just allow it to fall on your head regularly. The bathroom floor got sopping wet and they didn’t even offer a squeegee. GWA.

Now our shower is the same old same old open area Athens shower. This time they threw a shelf in the corned across from the shower head about 2 feet away so that’s smart. All our toiletries are permanently sopping with now, especially because the water just builds up on each level of the shelf. Plus our squeegee doesn’t have a long handle so it’s like a hand held thing instead of a broom.

My roommate Kristine is sick so she is trying to make some soup but they don’t sell it in a can, they sell it in powder packets that you add to water. Which would be okay, but we need a liter of water. This is a problem because we have no idea how much a liter is. We used our coffee pot to measure that out, only to discover they don’t give us a pot big enough to fit a liter of water in. I said to just make it in the coffee pot but hey, that’s just me.

I never knew how truly weird I was until I came on this trip. I guess I’m just accepted at home and surrounded by weirdos there too because I will just say something in passing like it’s no big deal and people will be absolutely befuddled by these things I say and consider normal. I find myself saying, “Oh, you guys don’t do that?” or “That’s weird?” a lot.

We were listening to music in our room with a majority of the group in Delphi and Jay-Z 99 Problems came on. Nicolette knows literally every word to the song with hand gestures and everything. She is my go-to pop culture soul mate. I will quote something, she says the next line. I will as the group as a whole things like, “Does anyone watch Between Two Ferns?” of course she watches between two ferns. We go out dancing at a club, and end up just doing the dance moves from the Always Sunny episode, “The Gang Dances Their Asses Off.” We also did the worm at a club once. Completely out of line.

Just found out that the boys of Glee will be doing “Friday” by Rebecca Black in their prom episode. There is so much wrong in that sentence. I’m not entirely sure what to do with that. Plus Lady Gaga’s song just came out and involves the line “I’m still in love with Judas, baby.” So much confusion coming my way that I don’t know how to deal with. I did however see a hilarious youtube video today called PowerThirst. I highly recommend it. Especially you, Maggie and Kelly, just so I can say things to you like “So many babies! 400 babies!” and it be mutually funny.

Now I will come up with a name for this and finally get a good night’s rest in order to wander around a museum. I’ll try and get this one correct because Mary Jo got up on her high horse and called me out on the last one because some sources say “Tis.” Well, in imdb I trust so I just copied and pasted. I hear that Terry cheats when it comes to these quotes. Every party has a pooper, that’s why we invited you, party pooper.