Wait Master, it might be dangerous...you go first.

Yo.

So now I am in the beautiful city/island thing of Monemvasia and sad to tell that class is over. We left Sparta and arrived here yesterday where we just had a review session for class.

Today, we started the morning with a typical Greek breakfast of bad toast with some butter. They gave us hard-boiled eggs but that doesn’t help me at all, as always. Then, we hiked up a mountain to see the actual site. I wore a tank top and shorts which was not okay for the churches but that’s fine because it was way too hot and sunny for any other option. After a long hike, we discovered that the main church was closed. From there, a bunch of us went on our own to go on a hike up the rest of the mountain. This was such a beautiful view. I got to climb up remains. I went into a house and tried to climb up a window, which I broke and had all the rock fall on me. I started to laugh and was covered in dirt and rock and blood basically. It was quite hilarious. From there, we hiked down where I was stung by a bee or something.

We then had class at a church where John was completely baffled as to how I appeared. I was a mess and covered in dirt. When Caroline and I were in an olive oil shop the previous day, we heard about a celebration in the town because of an icon. About 30 years ago, this beautiful icon had been stolen. In order for them to steal it, they had to tear the icon into separate strips. About five years ago, they got it back and sent it to Athens to be repaired. After repairing it, Athens basically decided it was really cool and that they wanted to keep it. Finally, after years of fighting, Monemvasia got the gorgeous icon back. There was a huge celebration for its return and we just missed it by hours! That’s too bad because this town has no roads, it’s all rocky sidewalks and it’s a very calm place. I would have loved to see this place go nuts. Anywho, we went into the church that the icon was finally returned and it is guarded by it’s own security system and a locked door that you can only see the icon through. It was still an amazing thing to see.

So as if this wasn’t hilariously abusive to myself enough, the best incident came later. I went swimming in the water and slipped on a rock. My foot hurt a tiny bit but I just thought some little rock was left in. About 30 minutes later when we were sitting on the side, I pointed it out. Everyone told me they were sea urchins, and I’m still not entirely sure what that means but it’s not good. Probably poisonous or something. So from there, two of them came back with me to my room to help. After Caroline got the first one out, it was a lot bigger than I thought it was so I guess I got a funny look on my face and said, “You gotta get those out of there!” Not all of them would come out, so Caroline and I decided to go to the pharmacy down in town about a mile away. We get there, and the pharmacy’s closed. The lady had just locked up, I explained to her what had happened, and she just kept saying the word “afternoon.” Still not entirely sure what that meant. So we headed back and attempted sea urchin removal part two: electric boogaloo. I soaked my foot in hot water, but was a little baby about it. This did not help. Caroline was now frustrated and felt as though the sea urchins were beating here. She would not have that. We went back to the pharmacy. I explained to the guy that I had sea urchins stuck in my foot. His response was, “Like, from the sea?” Ughh yes, precisely. He then told me he couldn’t do anything for me. Great. Then, thank goodness, he remembered what he could do. He goes and grabs a needle and hands it to Caroline. I immediately ask, “Are you giving me a shot!?” and panic. She laughs at me and tells me it’s just to dig them out. Ohh, good. Even better. I then buy her a gyro and run back to the town we were staying it that was all steep uphill. Bad choice. We go back by the water so that I didn’t have to walk so far and then I could have a distraction so I wouldn’t die. Everyone was trying to help in such hilarious ways. It was so painful, I was biting on a towel. I heard them say, “okay” so I thought they were all out. Nope, they didn’t get any out. Just digging holes in my heels, no big deal. So then we take a bunch of group pictures and I head back to my room where I soak my foot in legit hot water this time. It was hard to balance and I’m not flexible so I created a makeshift stool to use. Worked perfectly. Then Caroline got determined once again and went after them. She got one out and we gave up on the last one. We couldn’t decide if the one got out because we didn’t see it, but I later found it in the soap I was using. Ouch. I named the one left in my foot Jerimiah. We finished just before our final and got no studying in because of this ordeal. My professor was so baffled about how I was so calm and weird about this. He kept checking on me, I should have milked it and pretended like the reason I didn’t know some answers was because I was in shock and didn’t have time to study. Tragic day, really took a toll. Not really…

I’ve been completely unmotivated to do finish this blog. I might be going through some sort of preemptive depression and thinking that avoiding discussing it will make it not happen. I have had a few days off and in Athens now. Maggie was there and I was beyond excited to see her in my new favorite place in the world. She did so much on her own because she was in Athens the day before I got there. Impressive. But I must tell about the last night in Monemvasia.

We had a group dinner on our last night because it was the end of the program. We got to the restaurant, demanded that we sit at one table instead of the two that they set up for us. Then, after basically rearranging their entire restaurant, our professor decided he wanted to sit in this patio area off to the side where we’d be alone. This was a pain for them, but we were extremely loud so they should be grateful we weren’t ruining all other customer’s eating experiences. We did the basics and got the appetizers, but much more drinks this meal. We toasted to our current professor, John, Professor Fisher, and Kristine. Although Eddie always does the toasts, he asked Caroline and I to give the toast for Kristine. Fitting since she has had to live with us and organized most minutes of our trip. From there, we started announcing random superlatives for each other. I was given things such as, “Loudest and most obnoxious in the morning” “Biggest Bro” and some specific ones about me falling or breaking things like chairs. Better than high school where I combined to win biggest loser. Most likely to teach at RB and most likely to never leave Riverside. Good. After each one, we would cheer and drink. We learned some Hebrew words from Ezra. It escalated quickly and we spent hours taking pictures and just talking in a way that was nostalgic for the current moment. When I was a freshman, I had to read a lot of work from Chicago writers. I can’t tell you who wrote this, but there was a passage that really stuck with me. It was about how he was with this girl but for the first time in his life, he felt himself missing someone he was still with. This was personal to him about how he knew the relationship wasn’t going anywhere regardless of how great she was. The concept is a really interesting one to me and I thought I understood it but the way I felt at this dinner proves that I had no idea what that was like until now. We were such different people, and even different from the people who first came to Greece. I will obviously keep these friends, but we are going to be different people once again in America. It won’t be nearly the same. Too many America problems for the kind of simplicity we all found as friends.

After dinner, John told us about this club. We get there and it’s basically empty except for a few adults at the bar and a six-year-old girl. I kid you not. She was wearing a Hello Kitty shirt. This place isn’t real. We danced and John bought us too many tequila shots. John and Kramer were talking about us as a group and Kramer was telling him about how most nights go when we’re all out together. “Ezra will start two stepping any minute now…” and I guess he did immediately. Next Kramer told John, “Molly and Nicolette will be doing the worm soon.” Right on cue. I have some horrible bruises from that. Worth it. After this, some were put to bed, and the rest went down to the water. We went swimming. My mom is rolling over in her future grave. The stars were so stunning. I could have just floated there forever. When we asked John if he was going to get in with us, he said no because he was going commando. What a guy. We sat there for hours and finally made our way back to our rooms.

Then the next day, we left unacceptably early. After a long busride, we got back, I found my sister and we got settled in. I had to say my goodbye to a few in the group with was upsetting. Couldn’t stay upset for too long because it was time for karaoke!

The straws were all red and black for Lake Forest. The second bar was closed early so my favorite bartender could come and join us. This wasn’t the best karaoke because there was a table of douchers who were playing their own drinking games instead of karaoke-ing. They joined later and sucked anyways. I signed up Caroline, Maggie and I for many songs. Maggie refused to join for a while. We bombed “Kiss the Girl.” Then I got Mag up there for some NSYNC. That just blew the lid right off it. We signed up for a second NSYNC song and when the chorus came, Maggie handed me the mic and did the entire dance in front of everyone. Such a proud sister at that moment. It was awesome. This was followed by our expert running man. I had such a blast. Then some frat guys were annoying, we met Australians or New Zealanders (sorry, Flight of the Concords, still don’t care about the difference. Except New Zealand has better ads according to that show) and a majority of them shaved their legs. I meet the weirdest people.

The next day, Caroline and I had to fit 3 months worth of souvenir shopping into just a few hours. Maggie joined for a while but I think we overwhelmed her with the oddly specific things we decided we needed. I need things from here for a lot of people as well as for myself. She bowed out and we took our last trip to our yogurt place. I’m such a mess about leaving. I was taking pictures of everything as if they all had personal sentimental meaning to me.

Last night, we had Ezra and Kramer come over. Kramer had never seen the rooftop bar so we had full intentions to go there, until we found out it was closed. We spent some time at the regular sports bar where I had to say goodbye to Kram and Ez, which was very difficult. It’s so ridiculous because I know I’m still friends with them, but this whole trip has just been the best thing I’ve ever been a part of and it sucks to see it end and see everyone have to leave when I just want to start it over and do it again.

We headed back to the room and enjoyed our last Gordon’s Spaces and I went for a walk. Ended up seeing Kristine walking to the Areopagus when I was on my way. We sat and reminisced for a while as we stared at the Acropolis. The only thing left on our goal list that we created on a napkin was “dance in front of the Acropolis” so as we headed back I put in some Ke$ha and danced around the lower level. Kristine was uncontrollably laughing because the police were so confused and in hysterics about the weird girl who was dancing like a fool in front of one of the most iconic archaeological sites in the world with not audible music playing. Totally worth it. Check.

This morning was rough. I had about 2 hours of sleep, Maggie had about 10 minutes and we had to make our way to the port. We both thought we were in such a rush and we were both in such a haze that we got to the boat super early. I’m talking Mary Jo time. Now we’re on a 7 hour ferry ride to Santorini. I realize that it’s absurd that I wrote my paper about the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants but wasn’t planning on visiting Santorini, but all is right in the world. We’re sitting right by the Goody’s but I will avoid eating it at all costs because last time I did, it went ahead and destroyed my insides for about a week. Caroline thinks it was something else, but I blame Goody’s.

I have found out that I am now an expert responsible half asleep packer at this point. Most mornings, I was running on 2 hours of sleep and walking in a daze and somehow still had all the necessities. About 15 minutes into the cab ride I woke up officially and started to realize that I did not have any clue if I packed the ferry tickets. I did, success.

I need to find a donkey the minute we get on this island. Also, finding Kostas would be nice but I’ll keep my expectations low. I now know what to expect with Greeks. Mullets.

I do plan on blogging at least once more. I will tell all the tales of Santorini, and then for my own personal sanity, I plan on blogging about how home is after a few days. This will be therapy for me as I bash everything about home and give advice on people who plan on going to Greece in the future. As one of my favorite grad speeches has told me, advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. I was reading through my collection of favorite grad speeches and laughing uncontrollably on the bus one day and Caroline asked why. When I explained that I collect my favorite graduation speeches, she was baffled. I haven’t lost my shock value with this people. It’s awesome.

Now I am writing from the lobby of our hotel in Santorini. The shower is typical for Greece. The beaches on this side of the island are black sand and look so cool and so different than anything I have ever seen. We are on the side of the island that isn’t the touristy part. There aren’t very many people or buildings at all but the mountains are beautiful. Tomorrow, Mag and I will travel across the island to the more recognizable part of Santorini with the white and blue and donkeys. There better be some frickin donkeys. These last couple days are just basically going to be a relaxing time to transition back to home. This sounds outrageous, I know, but I am accustom to staying out until 4am and averaging about 2 hours of sleep per night and not having to answer to anyone really. This lifestyle won’t fly at home, understandably so. Thank goodness Maggie’s calmer than me. So we don’t really have huge plans. We’re going to just hang out here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll lay out on the beach, make our way over to our next hotel and then adventure through the beautiful buildings and watch the stunning sunset. The hotel we’re staying at is a honeymoon place so I’ll be sure to make that as uncomfortable for everyone involved as possible. Followed by booing random happy couples to make sure they are aware that they make me sick to my stomach. We will be greeted in our honeymoon room with a bottle of wine. Now that I think about it, I am torn between pretending like it’s our honeymoon and saying things about how we now have the same last name, etc. or if I should go with the Sex and the City Movie idea and tell people this was supposed to be her honeymoon with her husband but she was left at the altar and this was nonrefundable. That could be a fun bitter conversation with all the newlyweds around asking about our story.

I am currently reading the book The Nanny Diaries. I’m only a little bit into it, but I already love it. Mainly because I’m pretty certain that the author might be me. Her sarcasm and dry humor and ridiculous anecdotes and attention to stupid details are very similar to the way I go about my life or the way I perceive people. She’s brutal. Except she likes kids…that’s a major differentiating point between us. That, and she thinks boys with long-ish hair (tuck-behind-ears-length) are attractive. Now that I have been in Greece for so long, anything that is longer than a buzz on a boy is far too close to a mullet.

Does Barry Manilow Know That You Raid His Wardrobe?

Dearest blog world

I am on the boat back from the beautiful island of Naxos. It is sad to leave but I’ll go over the hilarious negatives soon to make me feel better about it.

First, we took a boat to Paros as a class to have the one-hour class session looking at one church. It was interesting, I’m not taking away from that, but it was clearly ridiculous to go all the way to this island for class. Which is why I love this program. Just a vacation for the past few days. No one was really paying attention in class. Most didn’t have a necessary item like a pen or spiral. Some had neither. I had both but this guy who is much very studious and anxious than me forgot his pen and to avoid that panic attack I gave him mine. Everyone can thank me later. Well, the funny thing was I took my pen from Caroline actually who thought she had an extra. She didn’t and didn’t even care to steal mine back. So she didn’t care not having a pen because she thought I’d want it more than she would need it and I freely gave the pen away without even being asked. Caroline and I get along so well.

So that’s all I have to speak of class related. Afterwards, we went to the beach and just relaxed and swam. It was very nice and gorgeous there. Except Kramer wearing a Speedo. That wasn’t so pretty. We went out to dinner as a class where we made fun of the grammatical error on our professor John’s tattoo, looked through all our cameras to find the most embarrassing photos of everyone. After dinner, we sat on this patio thing where we could get Internet and barely talked. This caused the old people to call and complain about us several times. They suck.

The next three days were free so some stayed on Paros, some traveled to other islands, some went to Athens, etc. I went with five others to the island of Naxos. The myth behind Naxos is that Ariadne got dumped here and Dionysos found her. Pleasant. After everything she did. It’s fine, Ariadne made a comeback in Inception. Probably the same person.

I stayed in a basement room with two girls. It was a really nice place, very close to the beach. Of course the shower was outrageous. First, the light in the bathroom was out so everything had to be done with the door open. No complaints about that. I’m weird. Then you had to hold the showerhead, which is common, but this one had coil wrapped around it that came uncoiled towards the end. Caroline has a large gash in her thigh from this. The first time I showered I could not, for the life of me, figure out how to get it from the bath faucet to the showerhead. I ended up just sitting on the floor. It was simple but whatever, I still argue that it wasn’t working for me. “Oh you just pull that knob up like you do with every shower anyone has ever come across? Never would have tried that…”

We spent our days on the beach. I was wearing high-waisted shorts the first day on the beach so I have a hilarious tan line from those. I also got super sunburnt but avoided passing out from it, maybe because I didn’t get out of bed the next day. It was raining, lay off me. Had some delicious food, felt like my mom because I ordered off the kid’s menu multiple times. This hilarity was enhanced by the time I ordered an inappropriately named drink to go along with my kid’s pasgetti. The waitress actually came up at one point and said “Here is your kid’s ice cream aaaaaand a free shot of Ouzo.” Of course.

The night before we left for Paros, one of our many bartender friends told us she was working on the rooftop bar. We had to go, of course. It was a shame we hadn’t been there yet. It was so pretty because it was small and just a lot of nice people and seat cushions on the roof that was so close and a perfect view of the Acropolis. Talking to Kathy, the bartender, I told her about how I want to continue traveling and the one place I’ve truly always wanted to go was Ireland. This was a fun conversation because Kathy is from Ireland. We’re facebook friends and she told me to keep in touch and that she would love to road trip around Ireland with me if I came next summer. Something to think about. From there I decided it would be fun to go look at the old Olympic Stadium down the block. Realized there is so much left to do here and I’d rather not leave.

I forgot to mention this in the last one but it was much too funny to ignore. In Thessaloniki we went to a restaurant called (in Greek) “Souvlaki with a Degree.” This was a place opened by two university graduates who could not find work after desperately looking for a few years. The entire place was school themed. The sign was a picture of Einstein with a tongue piercing. The outdoor seating was actually school desks and chairs. The menu was surrounded by protractors, pencils, erasers, and all sorts of school supplies. The food was served on a tray that was similar to the ones found in school cafeterias. Not only was it clever, it was delicious. John told us about this place but sadly, my favorite funny aspect of the school theme was no longer used. Instead of just using plain parchment paper, they originally wrapped the gyros in photocopies of their university degrees. I found that absolutely brilliant and wanted to steal a bunch to show people at home but now it’s just simple paper. Ohh well, the idea is still genius and they were funny people. Once again, their response to me telling them I’m from Chicago was, “Ohh the Bulls! Michael Jordan!” so they were more than alright with me from the start.

We have just arrived in Sparta. Which means it will be a few days of only quoting 300. Our bus actually had a picture of that movie poster on it. Well, this is Sparta. It’s really hot here which is a nice change but hopefully we don’t have to go anywhere that makes us wear pants. That’s what Christianity is. The voice that demands you to wear pants when you’re hot and don’t want to.

This hotel is weird because it’s a lot like an American hotel with the regular elevators (still too small though) and the keys that you insert into the door slot. It threw us off for a little bit. Not used to that.

In other news, I just recently saw the video for the song “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO and would appreciate it if everyone could watch it. They do the running man the entire time. Every day I’m shuffling as well, LMFAO. Also, I need, not want, need, one of those shirts with the person doing the running man on it.

Sean Combs has decided to further his career no longer as Diddy Dirty Money, but instead Swag. Which sucks because that is such a great word. Swag. It’s applicable to most everything in life. That’s two strikes against the word “swag” for me now. 1) When a boy told me I was “Hella dope swag” I nearly peed my pants. What a well-formed, sincere compliment. 2) The artist formerly known as 55 different names, Puff Daddy was my favorite and clearly the best. Why couldn’t he just pick a nondescript symbol like the artist formally known as Prince did? He had to go and ruin the fun for the rest of us.

I shall hide behind that garbage car.

I should probably blog.

I wrote that first sentence about 2 days ago. Now I’ll try and follow through with it. Class has been so wonderful. John is simply wonderful and hilarious. He told us a story about how he lit his church on fire the day of his wedding just minutes before his bride was coming upstairs. He told us that once he was telling a class about how the remains of someone in one of the church they were studying at were fake and probably the only English speaking priest came up and started yelling at him and would not reason with John so the priest ultimately yelled, “You’re excommunicated!” which is not how that works but absolutely hilarious. He also told us about the time when one of the students tripped in a museum and landed on an ancient rug and nearly ruined it. After seeing this rug and hearing this story, Nicolette had the greatest pop culture reference of all times. “That rug really tied the room together.” So very perfect. John has me figured out already though. He asked if I had any other volume or preferably a mute button. We told him no and that I am physically unable to whisper and he thinks it’s hysterical. Mocks me regularly now. We’re buddies, it’s fine. Lil’ John and I. he prefers that nickname over the other one I was using which was the abbreviation of “Byzantine John…”

We went to Kalambaka for the next part of the class. The travel day we had was absolutely gorgeous weather, of course. We stopped in this small town for lunch that reminded me of Colorado. Well, what I imagine Colorado would be like. The furthest west I’ve been is Iowa. Rough. We went to this place and literally just got meat. Pieces of paper with meat and they handed us toothpicks. It was incredible. Then, we got to the very nice hotel and most of us went out to the pool. I got thrown around and pushed in a little. Played some ping pong, which I miss so dearly. I skyped with my family that night which was so nice, especially since I haven’t talked to some of them since I’ve left. One of them being my brother, weird. In Kalambaka, we went and visited a bunch of monasteries. I still struggle to spell that word. I can tell you all about the architecture and icons, but I can barely spell that word. Most of the paintings in the narthex depict the saints being tortured so it’s a really terrible thing. Some of them are just getting beat with a stick, others are boiled alive or cut at the limbs or attacked by lions. I am one of the three Irish-Catholics on this trip and I always have to remind them that the emphasis is on the Irish part more so than the Catholic but this was proven when I could only recall about two of the stories depicted on the walls of the monasteries. The other two could tell you the story behind every wall painting plus which saints the icons were. CCD has done me no good. I didn’t even get to pick a confirmation name because my church, St. Mary’s, said I was named after 2 saints and needed to pick one of those to do my project on. I chose Rose because I was trying to make a point by not picking the name of the church. Showed them. At these monasteries, besides the fear of me bursting into flames instantly, my wardrobe was of a main concern. My professor told me I might be thrown into the fountain. Girls had to wear long skirts but since I own none and thought it would be fun, I took advantage of the monasteries offering tablecloths with strings on them as skirts. For months, I have been told about how horrible they are and how I don’t want to wear them. They were awesome. So many patterns, absolutely ridiculous. I got yelled at by a nun and was tempted to tell her that I was her for Halloween as a child. True story. Since I’ve visited all these churches, I have realized that everything about my life is probably wrong. Since my immediate reaction to new facts or certain monuments in the church are always sacrilegious, I have a lot to reconsider.

The way Christ is depicted is either through a fish or a peacock. The fish is because each letter of the word “fish” in Greek represents something about Jesus. The peacock is simply because it’s beautiful. Peacocks are my favorite animal so I get to see all these mosaics with peacocks made of gold or just various statues or chairs that are peacocks. It’s awesome.

I have to start getting people souvenirs. I need to start throwing away some clothes to make room for the things I’ll bring back for people. Shouldn’t be too hard because a lot of stuff I don’t wear or don’t need or some even have stains or holes but I’m stubborn when it comes to clothes. I told my classmates that the last week we’re here they need to start doing things to ruin the clothes I’m wearing. Pour things, I’ve been burned by some cigarettes, sleevemonster, just do what you gotta do.

My mom is easily one of the funniest people in the world. And I’m not just saying this to get on her good side. We finally got back to Athens and I show up to class yesterday with a large pile of mail waiting for me. My professor told me I couldn’t read it until after class (in a snappy way, might I add) but it was well worth the wait. First was a card from Aunt Peg that just said “srsly” on the front and “wtf” inside. Why the face? Then I had about 5 letters from my mom that were literally just post-its with random things on it basically because we’re competitive as a family and I want the most letters. One of them was a random “get well soon” card she found. I was laughing hysterically for at least 30 minutes and then at various points the rest of the day. My classmates told me that they now understand why I am the way I am and that they want to meet her. They also commented on how they never get mail and I’m delusional. All I know is that I saw someone get a letter once when I didn’t and it made me jealous.

Last night was karaoke, of course. Only one more left. So sad. The bartender Bab was asked if he thought it would be a good karaoke night and he said, “Should be, the Lake Forest girls are here.” It was phenomenal. He revealed the super Disney playlist of options for karaoke. Don’t mind if I do. Whole New World. Under the Sea. Check and check. Moniter was borderline unnecessary. Plus I did Bruce “Born To Run” and proudly did not look at the screen once. I really got into that one. Nailed it. Met some people from Wisconsin who had been to the Brookfield Zoo. Such a small world. I have also noticed that nothing brings a room of strangers together quicker and better than someone picking a perfect song at karaoke. Beautiful thing. One of the bartenders told us she would sing with us if we did Total Eclipse of the Heart. Had I known this was an option, it would have been done many times before. I clearly had to do the Old School version though. “I f*cking need you more than evaaa!” That made me about 3 new friends in the room due to them understanding my pop-culture reference via karaoke. Good basis for friendship I think. A girl I met did “Blame it on the Boogie” and I asked her where her bedazzled star sweater vest was. I don’t know if that one was over her head.

I am overwhelmed by the fact that I only have exactly 2 weeks left here. It went by so fast. We revisited a museum that we went to on the 2nd day we were here and I’m pretty convinced that that actually happened 4 days ago. Insane!

I went and got some mousaka to go from a restaurant the other night around 10pm and the place gave it to me for super cheap and even gave me bread so it was glorious. Then, instead of just eating in my room I decided to go sit on that large Areopagus Rock right at the base of the Acropolis. It was so beautiful and nice to just sit there and eat some delicious Greek food, listen to good music and sit outside on a nice night and stare at the Acropolis. I had such a great time. On my walk back, I stopped to get some pomegranate juice and discovered that this café makes these kebabs that are alternating strawberries and bananas all dipped in chocolate. I was going to try and eat healthier but that changed some things. Then after, I went to a friend’s room where I found out that class changed from 8:30am to 12:30pm. This place can’t be real. It was a good night. I need to do dorky things on my own like eat on a rock at night more often here. I have a couple weeks to do that. Literally, a couple. Ughh. Then I will have to face all the “American Problems” as I lovingly call them and have been pushing out of my mind. Not now though. Not yet. You can’t make me!

Tonight was a blast because we were invited to Professor John’s house for a party with his friends as well as his students from his other abroad program so I met a lot of kids from the Midwest, especially those from Chicago. It was a grand ole time.

Showers:
Thessaloniki-bathroom was just a wetroom. I had to hold the shower head because there was no base on the wall for it and it was just an elevated corner with no curtain. I got to sit on the toilet and shave though, good times.
Kalambaka-very small 2ft x 2ft tub thing with a seat and this shower curtain that was on rods, hard to describe but it was pretty pathetic. Also nowhere to put the shower head so I just had to hold it. I tried to sit on the seat once and thought it was at least 6 inches higher than reality. Fell and had a minor heart attack because I thought it was a much closer seat than it actually was.
Now I’m back in Athens where it’s just a corner of the bathroom as always. Squeegee time is back and it’s directly facing a shelf that holds the extra toilet paper. This would have been good to notice before we needed another roll of toilet paper and they were completely drenched. Smart girls here. Also, we have been lazy about squeegeeing so we have each fallen because of wet feet or wet shoes. I have multiple times, one of them led to me hitting a shelf in the room and breaking it. When Caroline fell she kicked me and I spilled. Kristine’s fall just ended with her in the splits a little.

Today, Professor Fisher described a door that had a bunch of complicated locks by saying, “It’s like a chastity belt.” This cracked me up so I texted it to my friend who said, “I’ve experienced it, not a bad comparison.” This whole situation was almost too much to handle. Fisher then gave Caroline and I money for a cab because we stayed after class to wash dishes. Fisher then attempted to teach us how to give directions to the cabdriver in Greek while I just pretended to repeat the words back to him but I actually was not paying attention to it at all. As we walked away we shared a conversation that went a little like this:
Me: Wow, that was nice of him to pay for a cab.
Caroline: Yeah, great.
Me: Want to take the Metra and get yogurt with it instead?
Caroline: Yep.
Same page, people.

Now I must go to bed where I am finally uncomfortably hot. Sounds terrible, I know, but I look forward to it since I have complained about the cold weather so often. This makes it impossible to sleep in the morning. Also, the beds are covered in plastic wrap which is fine, no bed bugs I guess, but my sheets came off a bit and I somehow can’t fit them back on so it makes it a sticky sweaty surface for my arms and somehow sometimes my face.

What am I going to do back in the States without this blog? I need to broadcast my thoughts in this format. I’m addicted!! You’ve created a monster.

I need to take a minute to think of a new title because my mom hated the last one. This is weird though because when we watched that movie she cracked up endlessly about that quote. I’m calling you out, mom. It’s funny. We did talk about Yemen a little today, which makes me tempted to quote Friends, but I think I’ll come up with something else.

I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.

I was going to dedicate a blog post to my mom coming up because of me missing Mother’s Day and all but I figured it’s better to do that now because of recent events.

I got my nose pierced basically on a whim. The details of this event are pretty wonderful. I walk into a couple places to compare cleanliness and more importantly cost. I decided to go to the first place I entered. The guy with tons of face piercings and the screamo rock sold me. Nicolette was with me who repeatedly asked, “You sure you want to do this?” Umm no I do things without thinking and rarely regret them, that’s how this works. I went into it knowing my mother would not approve and most likely find pleasure in ripping it out the minute I get home. Still thought it was worth it. Nicolette wasn’t allowed in the back room with the reclining chair where I would be getting the hole punched in my face. She told me the only thing she heard was, “Was that it? Oh shit!” But the rest might be even funnier. I sit down, he offers me the option to change the music but I told him it’s probably more important for him to be comfortable rather than me. He gave me some Kleenex for when my eyes inevitably start to cry because it feels like getting punched in the face. I’m not taking a needle to anything. The following dialogue might be one of my favorite of all time:
Guy: “Do you have a tendency to faint at all?”
Me: “No.” (confidently, might I add)
Guy: “Really? Okay. Umm a fear of needles at all?”
Me: “Ehh ugh I mean not my favorite but ughh…”
Guy: “Okay close your eyes” (laughing at me)
I then closed my eyes and he told me he’d tell me when I could reopen them. I asked if he would tell me when he was close to piercing me. He clearly did not understand this request sadly. He put in the little clamp, which was a fun experience because something that cold has never been shoved that far up my nose. Then bam, a wide needle was shoved in my nose. Wahh. It hurt a little. I cringed a bit and was terrified that I ripped it out entirely by moving ever so slightly. Reasonable. Then he shoved in the stud that had to be twisted into place. What a pleasant experience. I then opened my eyes, he wiped the tears away that I didn’t even notice happened. He asked me if I had any questions. “When can I pick my nose again?” “Umm make sure your hands are clean.” He then offered me the things that clean it and gave Nicolette and me a free bracelet. Cool! It’s really too bad though because I had my eye on the mini sculpture of the dragon and fairy having sex. Now sometimes the ring gets twisted and looks like a shiny booger hanging out of my nose.

With that story out of the way, now comes the aftermath. First off, it looks awesome. I showed some friends from home and my sister who just reminded me that mom was going to kill me. I told her that I had mentioned it to mom before. “Yeah, but didn’t she say ‘no way in hell?’” Ughh yeah, but I still told her. So everyone asked when I was going to tell my mom and I figured I’d just send her a quick email mentioning it. No big deal. While in the boys’ room celebrating America (more on this later) last night I got the unexpected response. Oops, didn’t see that coming. So this is my apology thing.

I remember when I got my cartilage pierced. I came home with Michelle and Kelly who also got theirs done. When I told my mom her first words were, “Oh my god you are a whore! I’d rather you get a tattoo!” So let’s get this straight…I’ll go take out this completely removable earring and go get an incredibly permanent tattoo. See you there.

I have always done things on a whim. I started volleyball for fun. I applied to LFC out of boredom. I even applied to the Greece program as a “What the hell” kind of thing. Most decisions of mine aren’t thought through at all but usually always work out one way or another. This is because I have been raised as a genuinely good person so my instincts are for good things, not always things that run parallel with my mom’s decisions. This has made it interesting for her, I’m sure. It helps us get along though because they come with good stories and less preparation for her to freak out about. She always hears about my stupid decisions after I am safely through with them. Like that whole bungee jumping thing I did or when I went and picked up Maggie at like 2am that one time. If those were planned events, she would have been worried before trying to talk me out of it and then unable to do anything else during the event due to anxiety that something will go wrong. I decide to do something, I do it, something hilarious always happens, and then I tell my mom. I tell my mom most things people would hate their mother finding out about. This is because my sense of humor is based off of hers just taken to an extreme. I have perfected her sarcasm in a way.

I am so excited about being in Greece but I obviously miss my mom. I know she is so happy for me because she knows how much I am truly enjoying myself. If I were miserable she would be too. My sister even told her that she was dealing with me being gone really surprisingly well and I know this is because she’s happy for me. I am sad to see this experience nearing it’s end, but am also very excited to get home to my life at home all summer. It will be stressful and hectic but so much fun. I know my mom will get sick of me sitting watching Mean Girls over and over again and make fun of me for being a loser. I know she’ll love to hear about everything I am doing here over and over. I know she’ll get incredibly annoyed by me when I fall asleep at a friend’s house and don’t come home at a reasonable hour or even answer her dozens of phone calls. Considering this event is inevitable plus I no longer care about phones because of this trip, this should go well.

With all this said, I know my mom will get over this stupid decision. She always does. It’s easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

So it has been quite some time. Sorry to keep my fans waiting. So last blog I was in Mykonos on free days. Well, we went back to Athens on a nice little boat. I didn’t want to leave but that’s okay. Probably the first time I ever didn’t want to be back in Athens. We had class where we went to a few sites in the pouring rain of course. One of which had a cult relating to my favorite myth about Demeter and Persephone. Fun stuff. Karaoke was a blast, I sang “Oh What A Night” flawlessly. The bartender, Bob who makes fun of my accent so I call him Bab, makes a deal every week at karaoke saying that if someone nails a Led Zeppelin song they get a free drink. Our group, with my pushing and nagging, is going to memorize a song and even choreograph some sort of dance to go along with it. I don’t take karaoke challenges lightly.

Now we are in Thesaloniki, which is an awesome city. Right on the water with no beach, which is dumb. Bugatsa, a delicious Greek dessert, was invented here. There’s a Chinese food place that is owned by Chinese people so it’s ridiculously delicious. We went to a museum yesterday and the site of Pella and Vergina today. Because this country isn’t real, a majority of the museum as well as the entire site of Pella is closed. The museum at Pella used to have mosaics, but now just have pictures of the mosaics on the floor. So disappointing. The ladies working there were bitches too. Forgot to turn my flash off, I got yelled at for that. She snapped a bunch but that’s okay. Vergina was the coolest museum I had ever been to. They renovated the tumulus and left everything where it was. We walked right up to the tomb of Philip. Russell dropped his pen while we were learning there and it shot right into the roped off area of the archaeological remains of the tomb. I absolutely lost it and laughed for about 15 straight minutes.

We finished the Classical class today, which means we just have one class left. Unreal. Went by so fast!! I’m not entirely sure if I’m allowed in my house yet either so that’s good. Next up is Byzantine, which we didn’t learn anything about so I’m even more comically unprepared for class, which is seemingly impossible.

So as most of you hopefully know, Osama Bin Laden was finally killed. Hide and Seek game over. America. Well I walked down to breakfast without knowing of this news and Nicolette walks up to me and goes, “We killed Bin Laden. High Five.” This became an entire day of being pompously American. All I wanted to do was eat apple pie and listen to Bruce Springsteen all day. Russell spoke in a southern accent. We all sang, “America! Fuck Yeah!” everywhere we went. Kramer wrote in the museum’s guest book “Today Osama Bin Laden was killed by America. LFC.” We even had an All-American power hour with ouzo oddly enough. Kramer’s t-shirts were used to create a makeshift American flag that turned out to be more of a French flag but we did what we could. There was a moment of silence and I got to show off my Pledge of Allegiance skills once again. This started pretty early and it was one of the funniest nights of my life. The room connects to a roof that’s basically a balcony so we were out there where water was being thrown on Kramer. We assumed it was Nicolette. Turns out it wasn’t. We concluded that it was probably someone trying to get us to shut up. It was still light out so they didn’t have much reason to be too upset. Considering the boys were forcibly done by 9:30 I don’t think we disturbed anyone’s sleep. Hilarious.

I'll be back in a few days to make first impression judgments on my new professor. Don't you worry. I hate how the word "judgment" is spelled. Almost as much as I hate how the English translation here is actual English instead of American. Organise. Sucks.