Wait Master, it might be dangerous...you go first.

Yo.

So now I am in the beautiful city/island thing of Monemvasia and sad to tell that class is over. We left Sparta and arrived here yesterday where we just had a review session for class.

Today, we started the morning with a typical Greek breakfast of bad toast with some butter. They gave us hard-boiled eggs but that doesn’t help me at all, as always. Then, we hiked up a mountain to see the actual site. I wore a tank top and shorts which was not okay for the churches but that’s fine because it was way too hot and sunny for any other option. After a long hike, we discovered that the main church was closed. From there, a bunch of us went on our own to go on a hike up the rest of the mountain. This was such a beautiful view. I got to climb up remains. I went into a house and tried to climb up a window, which I broke and had all the rock fall on me. I started to laugh and was covered in dirt and rock and blood basically. It was quite hilarious. From there, we hiked down where I was stung by a bee or something.

We then had class at a church where John was completely baffled as to how I appeared. I was a mess and covered in dirt. When Caroline and I were in an olive oil shop the previous day, we heard about a celebration in the town because of an icon. About 30 years ago, this beautiful icon had been stolen. In order for them to steal it, they had to tear the icon into separate strips. About five years ago, they got it back and sent it to Athens to be repaired. After repairing it, Athens basically decided it was really cool and that they wanted to keep it. Finally, after years of fighting, Monemvasia got the gorgeous icon back. There was a huge celebration for its return and we just missed it by hours! That’s too bad because this town has no roads, it’s all rocky sidewalks and it’s a very calm place. I would have loved to see this place go nuts. Anywho, we went into the church that the icon was finally returned and it is guarded by it’s own security system and a locked door that you can only see the icon through. It was still an amazing thing to see.

So as if this wasn’t hilariously abusive to myself enough, the best incident came later. I went swimming in the water and slipped on a rock. My foot hurt a tiny bit but I just thought some little rock was left in. About 30 minutes later when we were sitting on the side, I pointed it out. Everyone told me they were sea urchins, and I’m still not entirely sure what that means but it’s not good. Probably poisonous or something. So from there, two of them came back with me to my room to help. After Caroline got the first one out, it was a lot bigger than I thought it was so I guess I got a funny look on my face and said, “You gotta get those out of there!” Not all of them would come out, so Caroline and I decided to go to the pharmacy down in town about a mile away. We get there, and the pharmacy’s closed. The lady had just locked up, I explained to her what had happened, and she just kept saying the word “afternoon.” Still not entirely sure what that meant. So we headed back and attempted sea urchin removal part two: electric boogaloo. I soaked my foot in hot water, but was a little baby about it. This did not help. Caroline was now frustrated and felt as though the sea urchins were beating here. She would not have that. We went back to the pharmacy. I explained to the guy that I had sea urchins stuck in my foot. His response was, “Like, from the sea?” Ughh yes, precisely. He then told me he couldn’t do anything for me. Great. Then, thank goodness, he remembered what he could do. He goes and grabs a needle and hands it to Caroline. I immediately ask, “Are you giving me a shot!?” and panic. She laughs at me and tells me it’s just to dig them out. Ohh, good. Even better. I then buy her a gyro and run back to the town we were staying it that was all steep uphill. Bad choice. We go back by the water so that I didn’t have to walk so far and then I could have a distraction so I wouldn’t die. Everyone was trying to help in such hilarious ways. It was so painful, I was biting on a towel. I heard them say, “okay” so I thought they were all out. Nope, they didn’t get any out. Just digging holes in my heels, no big deal. So then we take a bunch of group pictures and I head back to my room where I soak my foot in legit hot water this time. It was hard to balance and I’m not flexible so I created a makeshift stool to use. Worked perfectly. Then Caroline got determined once again and went after them. She got one out and we gave up on the last one. We couldn’t decide if the one got out because we didn’t see it, but I later found it in the soap I was using. Ouch. I named the one left in my foot Jerimiah. We finished just before our final and got no studying in because of this ordeal. My professor was so baffled about how I was so calm and weird about this. He kept checking on me, I should have milked it and pretended like the reason I didn’t know some answers was because I was in shock and didn’t have time to study. Tragic day, really took a toll. Not really…

I’ve been completely unmotivated to do finish this blog. I might be going through some sort of preemptive depression and thinking that avoiding discussing it will make it not happen. I have had a few days off and in Athens now. Maggie was there and I was beyond excited to see her in my new favorite place in the world. She did so much on her own because she was in Athens the day before I got there. Impressive. But I must tell about the last night in Monemvasia.

We had a group dinner on our last night because it was the end of the program. We got to the restaurant, demanded that we sit at one table instead of the two that they set up for us. Then, after basically rearranging their entire restaurant, our professor decided he wanted to sit in this patio area off to the side where we’d be alone. This was a pain for them, but we were extremely loud so they should be grateful we weren’t ruining all other customer’s eating experiences. We did the basics and got the appetizers, but much more drinks this meal. We toasted to our current professor, John, Professor Fisher, and Kristine. Although Eddie always does the toasts, he asked Caroline and I to give the toast for Kristine. Fitting since she has had to live with us and organized most minutes of our trip. From there, we started announcing random superlatives for each other. I was given things such as, “Loudest and most obnoxious in the morning” “Biggest Bro” and some specific ones about me falling or breaking things like chairs. Better than high school where I combined to win biggest loser. Most likely to teach at RB and most likely to never leave Riverside. Good. After each one, we would cheer and drink. We learned some Hebrew words from Ezra. It escalated quickly and we spent hours taking pictures and just talking in a way that was nostalgic for the current moment. When I was a freshman, I had to read a lot of work from Chicago writers. I can’t tell you who wrote this, but there was a passage that really stuck with me. It was about how he was with this girl but for the first time in his life, he felt himself missing someone he was still with. This was personal to him about how he knew the relationship wasn’t going anywhere regardless of how great she was. The concept is a really interesting one to me and I thought I understood it but the way I felt at this dinner proves that I had no idea what that was like until now. We were such different people, and even different from the people who first came to Greece. I will obviously keep these friends, but we are going to be different people once again in America. It won’t be nearly the same. Too many America problems for the kind of simplicity we all found as friends.

After dinner, John told us about this club. We get there and it’s basically empty except for a few adults at the bar and a six-year-old girl. I kid you not. She was wearing a Hello Kitty shirt. This place isn’t real. We danced and John bought us too many tequila shots. John and Kramer were talking about us as a group and Kramer was telling him about how most nights go when we’re all out together. “Ezra will start two stepping any minute now…” and I guess he did immediately. Next Kramer told John, “Molly and Nicolette will be doing the worm soon.” Right on cue. I have some horrible bruises from that. Worth it. After this, some were put to bed, and the rest went down to the water. We went swimming. My mom is rolling over in her future grave. The stars were so stunning. I could have just floated there forever. When we asked John if he was going to get in with us, he said no because he was going commando. What a guy. We sat there for hours and finally made our way back to our rooms.

Then the next day, we left unacceptably early. After a long busride, we got back, I found my sister and we got settled in. I had to say my goodbye to a few in the group with was upsetting. Couldn’t stay upset for too long because it was time for karaoke!

The straws were all red and black for Lake Forest. The second bar was closed early so my favorite bartender could come and join us. This wasn’t the best karaoke because there was a table of douchers who were playing their own drinking games instead of karaoke-ing. They joined later and sucked anyways. I signed up Caroline, Maggie and I for many songs. Maggie refused to join for a while. We bombed “Kiss the Girl.” Then I got Mag up there for some NSYNC. That just blew the lid right off it. We signed up for a second NSYNC song and when the chorus came, Maggie handed me the mic and did the entire dance in front of everyone. Such a proud sister at that moment. It was awesome. This was followed by our expert running man. I had such a blast. Then some frat guys were annoying, we met Australians or New Zealanders (sorry, Flight of the Concords, still don’t care about the difference. Except New Zealand has better ads according to that show) and a majority of them shaved their legs. I meet the weirdest people.

The next day, Caroline and I had to fit 3 months worth of souvenir shopping into just a few hours. Maggie joined for a while but I think we overwhelmed her with the oddly specific things we decided we needed. I need things from here for a lot of people as well as for myself. She bowed out and we took our last trip to our yogurt place. I’m such a mess about leaving. I was taking pictures of everything as if they all had personal sentimental meaning to me.

Last night, we had Ezra and Kramer come over. Kramer had never seen the rooftop bar so we had full intentions to go there, until we found out it was closed. We spent some time at the regular sports bar where I had to say goodbye to Kram and Ez, which was very difficult. It’s so ridiculous because I know I’m still friends with them, but this whole trip has just been the best thing I’ve ever been a part of and it sucks to see it end and see everyone have to leave when I just want to start it over and do it again.

We headed back to the room and enjoyed our last Gordon’s Spaces and I went for a walk. Ended up seeing Kristine walking to the Areopagus when I was on my way. We sat and reminisced for a while as we stared at the Acropolis. The only thing left on our goal list that we created on a napkin was “dance in front of the Acropolis” so as we headed back I put in some Ke$ha and danced around the lower level. Kristine was uncontrollably laughing because the police were so confused and in hysterics about the weird girl who was dancing like a fool in front of one of the most iconic archaeological sites in the world with not audible music playing. Totally worth it. Check.

This morning was rough. I had about 2 hours of sleep, Maggie had about 10 minutes and we had to make our way to the port. We both thought we were in such a rush and we were both in such a haze that we got to the boat super early. I’m talking Mary Jo time. Now we’re on a 7 hour ferry ride to Santorini. I realize that it’s absurd that I wrote my paper about the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants but wasn’t planning on visiting Santorini, but all is right in the world. We’re sitting right by the Goody’s but I will avoid eating it at all costs because last time I did, it went ahead and destroyed my insides for about a week. Caroline thinks it was something else, but I blame Goody’s.

I have found out that I am now an expert responsible half asleep packer at this point. Most mornings, I was running on 2 hours of sleep and walking in a daze and somehow still had all the necessities. About 15 minutes into the cab ride I woke up officially and started to realize that I did not have any clue if I packed the ferry tickets. I did, success.

I need to find a donkey the minute we get on this island. Also, finding Kostas would be nice but I’ll keep my expectations low. I now know what to expect with Greeks. Mullets.

I do plan on blogging at least once more. I will tell all the tales of Santorini, and then for my own personal sanity, I plan on blogging about how home is after a few days. This will be therapy for me as I bash everything about home and give advice on people who plan on going to Greece in the future. As one of my favorite grad speeches has told me, advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. I was reading through my collection of favorite grad speeches and laughing uncontrollably on the bus one day and Caroline asked why. When I explained that I collect my favorite graduation speeches, she was baffled. I haven’t lost my shock value with this people. It’s awesome.

Now I am writing from the lobby of our hotel in Santorini. The shower is typical for Greece. The beaches on this side of the island are black sand and look so cool and so different than anything I have ever seen. We are on the side of the island that isn’t the touristy part. There aren’t very many people or buildings at all but the mountains are beautiful. Tomorrow, Mag and I will travel across the island to the more recognizable part of Santorini with the white and blue and donkeys. There better be some frickin donkeys. These last couple days are just basically going to be a relaxing time to transition back to home. This sounds outrageous, I know, but I am accustom to staying out until 4am and averaging about 2 hours of sleep per night and not having to answer to anyone really. This lifestyle won’t fly at home, understandably so. Thank goodness Maggie’s calmer than me. So we don’t really have huge plans. We’re going to just hang out here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll lay out on the beach, make our way over to our next hotel and then adventure through the beautiful buildings and watch the stunning sunset. The hotel we’re staying at is a honeymoon place so I’ll be sure to make that as uncomfortable for everyone involved as possible. Followed by booing random happy couples to make sure they are aware that they make me sick to my stomach. We will be greeted in our honeymoon room with a bottle of wine. Now that I think about it, I am torn between pretending like it’s our honeymoon and saying things about how we now have the same last name, etc. or if I should go with the Sex and the City Movie idea and tell people this was supposed to be her honeymoon with her husband but she was left at the altar and this was nonrefundable. That could be a fun bitter conversation with all the newlyweds around asking about our story.

I am currently reading the book The Nanny Diaries. I’m only a little bit into it, but I already love it. Mainly because I’m pretty certain that the author might be me. Her sarcasm and dry humor and ridiculous anecdotes and attention to stupid details are very similar to the way I go about my life or the way I perceive people. She’s brutal. Except she likes kids…that’s a major differentiating point between us. That, and she thinks boys with long-ish hair (tuck-behind-ears-length) are attractive. Now that I have been in Greece for so long, anything that is longer than a buzz on a boy is far too close to a mullet.