I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.

I was going to dedicate a blog post to my mom coming up because of me missing Mother’s Day and all but I figured it’s better to do that now because of recent events.

I got my nose pierced basically on a whim. The details of this event are pretty wonderful. I walk into a couple places to compare cleanliness and more importantly cost. I decided to go to the first place I entered. The guy with tons of face piercings and the screamo rock sold me. Nicolette was with me who repeatedly asked, “You sure you want to do this?” Umm no I do things without thinking and rarely regret them, that’s how this works. I went into it knowing my mother would not approve and most likely find pleasure in ripping it out the minute I get home. Still thought it was worth it. Nicolette wasn’t allowed in the back room with the reclining chair where I would be getting the hole punched in my face. She told me the only thing she heard was, “Was that it? Oh shit!” But the rest might be even funnier. I sit down, he offers me the option to change the music but I told him it’s probably more important for him to be comfortable rather than me. He gave me some Kleenex for when my eyes inevitably start to cry because it feels like getting punched in the face. I’m not taking a needle to anything. The following dialogue might be one of my favorite of all time:
Guy: “Do you have a tendency to faint at all?”
Me: “No.” (confidently, might I add)
Guy: “Really? Okay. Umm a fear of needles at all?”
Me: “Ehh ugh I mean not my favorite but ughh…”
Guy: “Okay close your eyes” (laughing at me)
I then closed my eyes and he told me he’d tell me when I could reopen them. I asked if he would tell me when he was close to piercing me. He clearly did not understand this request sadly. He put in the little clamp, which was a fun experience because something that cold has never been shoved that far up my nose. Then bam, a wide needle was shoved in my nose. Wahh. It hurt a little. I cringed a bit and was terrified that I ripped it out entirely by moving ever so slightly. Reasonable. Then he shoved in the stud that had to be twisted into place. What a pleasant experience. I then opened my eyes, he wiped the tears away that I didn’t even notice happened. He asked me if I had any questions. “When can I pick my nose again?” “Umm make sure your hands are clean.” He then offered me the things that clean it and gave Nicolette and me a free bracelet. Cool! It’s really too bad though because I had my eye on the mini sculpture of the dragon and fairy having sex. Now sometimes the ring gets twisted and looks like a shiny booger hanging out of my nose.

With that story out of the way, now comes the aftermath. First off, it looks awesome. I showed some friends from home and my sister who just reminded me that mom was going to kill me. I told her that I had mentioned it to mom before. “Yeah, but didn’t she say ‘no way in hell?’” Ughh yeah, but I still told her. So everyone asked when I was going to tell my mom and I figured I’d just send her a quick email mentioning it. No big deal. While in the boys’ room celebrating America (more on this later) last night I got the unexpected response. Oops, didn’t see that coming. So this is my apology thing.

I remember when I got my cartilage pierced. I came home with Michelle and Kelly who also got theirs done. When I told my mom her first words were, “Oh my god you are a whore! I’d rather you get a tattoo!” So let’s get this straight…I’ll go take out this completely removable earring and go get an incredibly permanent tattoo. See you there.

I have always done things on a whim. I started volleyball for fun. I applied to LFC out of boredom. I even applied to the Greece program as a “What the hell” kind of thing. Most decisions of mine aren’t thought through at all but usually always work out one way or another. This is because I have been raised as a genuinely good person so my instincts are for good things, not always things that run parallel with my mom’s decisions. This has made it interesting for her, I’m sure. It helps us get along though because they come with good stories and less preparation for her to freak out about. She always hears about my stupid decisions after I am safely through with them. Like that whole bungee jumping thing I did or when I went and picked up Maggie at like 2am that one time. If those were planned events, she would have been worried before trying to talk me out of it and then unable to do anything else during the event due to anxiety that something will go wrong. I decide to do something, I do it, something hilarious always happens, and then I tell my mom. I tell my mom most things people would hate their mother finding out about. This is because my sense of humor is based off of hers just taken to an extreme. I have perfected her sarcasm in a way.

I am so excited about being in Greece but I obviously miss my mom. I know she is so happy for me because she knows how much I am truly enjoying myself. If I were miserable she would be too. My sister even told her that she was dealing with me being gone really surprisingly well and I know this is because she’s happy for me. I am sad to see this experience nearing it’s end, but am also very excited to get home to my life at home all summer. It will be stressful and hectic but so much fun. I know my mom will get sick of me sitting watching Mean Girls over and over again and make fun of me for being a loser. I know she’ll love to hear about everything I am doing here over and over. I know she’ll get incredibly annoyed by me when I fall asleep at a friend’s house and don’t come home at a reasonable hour or even answer her dozens of phone calls. Considering this event is inevitable plus I no longer care about phones because of this trip, this should go well.

With all this said, I know my mom will get over this stupid decision. She always does. It’s easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

So it has been quite some time. Sorry to keep my fans waiting. So last blog I was in Mykonos on free days. Well, we went back to Athens on a nice little boat. I didn’t want to leave but that’s okay. Probably the first time I ever didn’t want to be back in Athens. We had class where we went to a few sites in the pouring rain of course. One of which had a cult relating to my favorite myth about Demeter and Persephone. Fun stuff. Karaoke was a blast, I sang “Oh What A Night” flawlessly. The bartender, Bob who makes fun of my accent so I call him Bab, makes a deal every week at karaoke saying that if someone nails a Led Zeppelin song they get a free drink. Our group, with my pushing and nagging, is going to memorize a song and even choreograph some sort of dance to go along with it. I don’t take karaoke challenges lightly.

Now we are in Thesaloniki, which is an awesome city. Right on the water with no beach, which is dumb. Bugatsa, a delicious Greek dessert, was invented here. There’s a Chinese food place that is owned by Chinese people so it’s ridiculously delicious. We went to a museum yesterday and the site of Pella and Vergina today. Because this country isn’t real, a majority of the museum as well as the entire site of Pella is closed. The museum at Pella used to have mosaics, but now just have pictures of the mosaics on the floor. So disappointing. The ladies working there were bitches too. Forgot to turn my flash off, I got yelled at for that. She snapped a bunch but that’s okay. Vergina was the coolest museum I had ever been to. They renovated the tumulus and left everything where it was. We walked right up to the tomb of Philip. Russell dropped his pen while we were learning there and it shot right into the roped off area of the archaeological remains of the tomb. I absolutely lost it and laughed for about 15 straight minutes.

We finished the Classical class today, which means we just have one class left. Unreal. Went by so fast!! I’m not entirely sure if I’m allowed in my house yet either so that’s good. Next up is Byzantine, which we didn’t learn anything about so I’m even more comically unprepared for class, which is seemingly impossible.

So as most of you hopefully know, Osama Bin Laden was finally killed. Hide and Seek game over. America. Well I walked down to breakfast without knowing of this news and Nicolette walks up to me and goes, “We killed Bin Laden. High Five.” This became an entire day of being pompously American. All I wanted to do was eat apple pie and listen to Bruce Springsteen all day. Russell spoke in a southern accent. We all sang, “America! Fuck Yeah!” everywhere we went. Kramer wrote in the museum’s guest book “Today Osama Bin Laden was killed by America. LFC.” We even had an All-American power hour with ouzo oddly enough. Kramer’s t-shirts were used to create a makeshift American flag that turned out to be more of a French flag but we did what we could. There was a moment of silence and I got to show off my Pledge of Allegiance skills once again. This started pretty early and it was one of the funniest nights of my life. The room connects to a roof that’s basically a balcony so we were out there where water was being thrown on Kramer. We assumed it was Nicolette. Turns out it wasn’t. We concluded that it was probably someone trying to get us to shut up. It was still light out so they didn’t have much reason to be too upset. Considering the boys were forcibly done by 9:30 I don’t think we disturbed anyone’s sleep. Hilarious.

I'll be back in a few days to make first impression judgments on my new professor. Don't you worry. I hate how the word "judgment" is spelled. Almost as much as I hate how the English translation here is actual English instead of American. Organise. Sucks.