Well, I’m back on a boat and unable to sleep so here comes another ramble of epic proportions. Man, I couldn’t even get through the first sentence without a spelling error. I blame the lack of sleep in my life. All’s forgiven when I average 3 hours of sleep, sorry mom. Being lanky is rough on a boat. I am sitting in a chair and a little sideways and have tripped at least 12 people, most of which are children so I don’t feel too bad but still, I have to do the awkward thing where I have to say excuse me and then realize they might not speak English and then do my terrible impression of Greek.
Well I’m not entirely sure what I should talk about. We had a day of class called “Attica Day.” Sounds pretty crazy awesome. We were going to go travel to four different sites all along the Attica. I’d love to be able to tell you the names and I’ll try my best, but my professor’s accent is borderline gibberish especially when trying to spell something. This could have been the coolest frickin day ever but of course it had to be shit. It was raining and freezing cold. Who wants to hike to an archaeological site in the pouring rain and whipping wing? Some kids in the class were pretending like they were untouchably happy about it just because they were at a site. “You can’t be upset at a site this amazing!?” I showed them. Also, within ten minutes these people contradicted themselves at least twelve times finally ending in them blatantly complaining of misery.
The first site was Rhomnos or something. Good thing there are no fact checking in this situation. Journalism would be hard. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.* Well, Rhomnos as I like to call it was pretty fantastic. There was a temple dedicated to Nemesis and some homes excavated. One of my favorite parts was seeing the herms I think they’re called. Just go with it. Well, herms are pillars with a head at the top of them. Thucydides tells us about one of the leaders going around and knocking the heads off of these herms in a fit of rage. This just brings a picture of high school kids in a pick-up truck swinging a baseball bat out the passenger window at mailboxes and reestablished my belief that shit don’t change.***
The next site…umm Vrauvron? Braubron? B’s are pronounced as V so I’m not entirely sure what is going on there. Well this was a cult dedicated to Artemis. It was closed so we literally stood on the side of a highway looking through a fence at the site. This place isn’t real. Well, girls would come here between the ages of 5 and 12 or so. It was their rite of passage but usually for aristocratic girls. The rituals had to do with bears because of some mythological story about how girls have to act like bears. Weird. But there were some things these girls had to do within the year they stayed there but the best part was that there were rooms for symposiums, drinking, which was specific to men. This tells us that there would have been some sort of graduation ceremony and then fathers would come and just drink together and probably ignore whatever beautiful traditions were happening while the moms sob and watch intently. Shit don’t change.
There’s a good chance I’m getting these confused. It was a rough day. I don’t remember the name, something with a Th- was the next site. The only thing we saw here was the ore depository system thing. This was a settlement based off of them finding silver so it was very unorganized and just built instead of planned. The ore system was fascinating and seemingly horribly dangerous but the slaves did the work so it makes sense that they didn’t care too much. Brilliant way of doing it though. On the bus, Nicolette had to give her presentation on slaves, which was very long and detailed and put most everyone to shame for their projects and life in general. Awesome.
The last site was probably my favorite thing in the world. I could just imagine how gorgeous it would be if it was a nice day. So frustrated. It was the temple of Poseidon. It was appropriate that the weather was insanity and actually hailing here because of how Poseidon was but still upsetting. It was surrounded by water on three sides and had rocks that I just sat on for a few minutes that hovered over the water. I think I was way too close to being blown off the rock though so we had to go. It was beautiful even with the wind and grey angry water. Screw you, Poseidon. This just gives me more reason to return to Greece someday though because I really need to experience this temple in pretty weather. I might not ever leave.
The busride back from that was awful. We were all soaking wet and trying to dry things off. So much windburn and discomfort. Luckily, I am a scumbag and never wear pants so I didn’t have the issue of wet heavy gross jeans. Paid off for me.
Yesterday we went on a boat to Aegina. I never get sick of looking at the water and am so impressed and in awe of everything still. We went to the temple of Aphaia or something. I just asked the two smartest kids in the class what it was called and even they didn’t know so don’t judge me. She was the goddess of the phenomenon and of things appearing and disappearing and stuff. I can honestly say I have no idea what happened at this temple. There were undefined rooms and the pediment was of war and Athena but the votives found were all female and the rooms might have been for symposium so it just seems like a mess to me. Our professor heard that we wanted more archaeology involved because Matthew did a lot of archaeology so she used this opportunity to show us that Classical archaeology tells you jack shit about what happened at the site. She was right because we had no idea what happened here. We believe it has to do with the land taking over and controlling the water based on the story that was connected to Aegina. Whatever, it was just gorgeous to look at the water from the temple. All that mattered to me. This was the site that I got yelled at for the first time. I got upset because a guy in the program referred to Kelly Clarkson as the “chubby blonde” and if the first word that comes to mind about her is “chubby” there’s definitely a skewed image of what girls should be, and this is coming from a non-feminist. Then he said that he could easily come up with a problem about every girl in the world. Emma Stone’s only problem was that she wasn’t with him, so I laughed and pointed out the fact that she willingly chose and put a conscious effort in to become a redhead and that’s definitely a problem and never acceptable. This was as we were walking up to the outdoor temple and this woman just yells, “Shh!! This is a sacred area. You’re not the only ones here!” I immediately laughed and shouted “Ohh SIgnomi! Bravo!” even though she was clearly not Greek and just a snooty arrogant tourist. Her husband had the most ridiculous mustache ever.
The next site combined some Bronze Age buildings with Classical so that was just confusing. Still not entirely sure what I looked at. I once again just sat on a column base and stared at the water. Then a couple of the girls got some food to go. We sat next to the water at a table while waiting. By the time they brought it, we just started eating it ravenously. The people a few tables away were hysterically laughing at us. We’re not real people. The guy working at the restaurant came and asked in his broken English, “Ughh not take out?” Yeah…didn’t quite make it past the table…
Less gypsies on this boat. Good times. A gypsy girl was bothering Kramer, Nicolette and I the other day when we were sitting at a café. She came back multiple times and I must say, we are pretty hilarious. Absolutely ruthless and bad people but still, hilarious which has always taken priority over decency. She was trying to sell us Kleenex. Not having it.
When we were in Olympia I was taking pictures around the site with Russell and we found some columns laying horizontal so I clearly had to steam roll them. As I was rolling around, Russell told me to make the sexy pose and face. I clearly have no idea how to do that; I’m not a real person. So I just pretended to be a cat and made a ridiculous face. This has entertained most of the group for some time now. I just looked up from typing this and Russell is across the room just making the face and hand motion.
I made my schedule for next year, which is pretty crazy to think about. This year is the first year that Lake Forest College is using online registration instead of just writing the classes you want on anything and getting it to your advisor in some way. Growing up so fast. Well, the registration for Juniors was going to be today but we’re on a boat so Nicolette somehow managed to convince the man in charge of the online registration to let us just send him the classes we want and he’ll do it for us. Umm, yes please. I’m not able to do anything by myself. Love it. So I got all the classes I wanted. I emailed him and wanted to attach a word document of the classes I wanted. Forgot to attach it. Sent a second one, finally attached it. I have to figure out a fourth class for the spring semester because it should be science/math and I definitely need to ask around to find the easiest possible one so he replied saying, “You know you only sent me three classes for the spring?” Hahahahaha yes, B.J. White, I am aware and capable of counting and know I only chose three. I love having low expectations. No one expects me to know or do anything and then bam, some kids in the program want pizza and guess who was the leader in getting there. So many high fives were given for that success.
And his name is actually B.J. White. That’s his email. I feel like he could have avoided that. Even Gaylord Focker came up with a different route. Especially once you start a profession, you could make any name you want. It reminds me of the scene in Toy Story 3 when Woody meets the new toys and the dinosaur who is the voice of the awesome girl from Flight of the Concords goes, “Really? Woody, you’re going to stick with that? Because now’s the time to change it.” Or something like that. I plan on changing my name in every phase of my life. This way, when I’m being lame or I suck people can be like, “You know, we miss Molly. This Molly Rose girl kinda sucks.” And of course she’ll suck, most people who demand to be called by their first and middle name suck. Sorry, mom, you’re the exception or something. But seriously, think about it. I’m right about this. Also, girls who have variations involved in their names are usually umm jezebels, harlots…Like Krystal, or Vikki. Or Serafena from Fenwick. She sucked. Her name sounds like an American Girl Doll but she was nothing like that. “Ohh, Sarah?” “Noooo Serafena meh meh meh.”
I would love to sleep right now but that’s just not in the cards for me. Last boat ride I spent my time blogging and then writing the paper for Conor about himself. Maybe I’ll write someone else a letter or something. So many people are sending postcards. I should do that. If I send a postcard I expect one in return. I want a postcard from like Berwyn or something ridiculous like that. Aunt Peg sent me a birthday card so I wrote on her facebook asking if sending cookies works, totally as a joke. My cousin Katy commented, “It does. She sent some to Thailand.” Oh man. This changes things. The bar has been raised.
Oh, Will2k just came on shuffle. No complaints here. It makes me a little nostalgic for driver’s ed when there would be a 90s music video break from the high quality videos of Mr. Howard reading and holding a handheld camera up to the exact same book we had except his had a few less penises drawn and/or carved in. These included the musical creations of Mariah Carey, Will Smith, or Britney Spears. This may sound like the highlight of these films, but I would argue it was second to Mr. Howard’s illiteracy. He actually could not read. You know that scene in Monty Python where the knight pronounces the word knight as “Kaaaanigget”? Yeah. Mr. Jones said “Rigahit” instead of right on multiple occasions. He struggle with the word “the” as well. Reading’s hard.
Now you’ve got me started on my driver’s ed class which is completely irrelevant to this blog yet somehow completely appropriate to talk about in any context. Mr. Howard lived in South Carolina yet ran the Mr. Howard Driver’s Ed class. Mr. Jones was the actual teacher. Pronounced “Mista Jones” by the numerous habitual visitors/crackheads. My favorites were Crackhead Darryl and Crackhead Dianne. Good times. Well, my brother went to this driver’s ed and would come home and tell my mom that Mr. Jones would be selling drugs. My mom obviously thought he was full of shit and just thought he was trying to be cool. He went on to get his license, make some terrible driving decisions combined with the worst luck ever, and end up being a driver’s ed teacher himself. I can only help he is giving his students the same opportunities as Mr. Jones did. “Have you ever drove through a Drive-Thru? Let’s practice that…” Then my sister attended and came home saying the same thing about drugs. My mom still thought it was a lie but a little weird. Maggie went on to get her license and never have any issues, of course. Knock on wood, I guess. Then I went to driver’s ed, believe it or not. I came home saying the same thing. Those behind the wheels consisted of me listening to the Bears game while sitting in park in a parking lot as Mr. Jones would go in his trunk and then disappear. Or we’d go to McDonald’s where he’d be gone for at least an hour and then return with just a small milkshake. Mom thought we were all just weirdos. This is until I was a Sophomore at RB sitting at lunch the day after my very last behind the wheel when I found out that good old Mr. Jones had been arrested for heroine possession. Of course he was. First thought, bahahahahahaha. Second though, do I still get my license? I remember blatantly calling my mom from class to tell her this story. Yes, I bullshit a lot and embellish most everything about my life, but everything has roots in truth. Proof. I did go on to get my license. In my test, the guys name was Guy, he asked if my mom was a registered nurse because our license plate was “RN” and I honestly just did not get it. He told me I passed and that I could just park and go inside and get my license. This specific parking job took up at least 4 spots. I’m not entirely sure how I even managed that. I just looked at him and Guy goes, “Well, you already passed. Whatever.” And that is reflected in my driving today.
I’m pretty sure my life is basically Slumdog Millionaire just a little varied. Most of my character traits can be explained by a pinpointed moment or story in my life. Also, there are random large dance sequences in both.
We are on our way to Mykonos today. We have class later today and then a 5-day vacation. I am beyond excited. As if I’m going to be able to learn today. Funny joke. We had to meet at 5:45 for the bus this morning. I am clearly an obnoxious morning person because I am an all over obnoxious person. First thing I did this morning was start chanting “My-Ko-Nos!” responded with a “Shut the fuck up, Molly,” from the roomies. Well-deserved. Then, Kristine joined in my annoying habits because we love the bartender at our hostel’s sports bar and his name is “Bob” so we like to pronounce it “Bab” and give him a hard time. It is reciprocated however. Like last night when this guy was trying to talk to us and took our dry brutal humor and making fun of him to his face as flirting so he stuck around for a while. I usually don’t retain or care about names, but his was Cassidy. From this moment on I made sure to end every sentence with the name “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” There was no reason to use his name this often but it was fun for me. Bab told me that he had probably heard that one before and I should try and be cleverer. Stupid Bab. I’m hysterical. Side note, who knew that more clever is wrong and should be cleverer instead? Show of hands? That’s what I thought. Crazy talk. I just do as I’m told.
What laptop doesn’t come equip with solitaire? What is this? Just started playing on my iPod and feel like Charlie playing Simon Says. Remember how challenging this game was?
Some of these people and myself have come up with a new fun game based off of the “Nicolette Zorn Movie Game.” This game consists of you naming a movie and seeing if Nicolette has seen it. 10 out of 10 times she has not seen it. It’s actually impressive. Some of these films she has had to make an effort not to watch. The variation to apply to me is a similar idea, but instead of movies, you ask an intellectual question and 10 out of 10 times I do not know the answer. It just leads to them becoming increasingly impressed by how little I actually know and me giggling at my own stupidity.
We just got some Goody’s fast food on this boat, basically McDonald’s but it gives you a side salad, which is nice. We discovered that ketchup is actually just sugar water from what we can tell so that’s awesome.
I have been to the bathroom twice and have managed to trip entering and exiting the room four times. The same people have seen all of this and just look at me with their exhausted and confused eyes.
It is basically impossible for me to sleep with all the workers walking around in their tacky blue suit coats yelling at me for putting my feet up on stuff. Not my fault you made the most uncomfortable seating arrangement and my school won’t purchase me a ticket with an assigned seat so I have to create a makeshift sleeping situation.
I’m finally in my beautiful hotel room in gorgeous Mykonos. It’s rainy and cold but the weather should turn around tomorrow supposedly. The shower is somewhat normal. I’m actually confused by it. The showerhead is facing the right way, the tub doesn’t let too much water out and you can stand somewhat comfortably. The water pressure feels like less than cotton balls hitting your head, which is terrible but I’m not one to complain. We got here and decided it was a good idea to go jump in the pool in the pouring rain. Caroline, James, Nicolette, and I did this multiple times only to come up from the water screaming clever combinations of profanities each time. It was unreasonably cold and the owner and other guests were just laughing at us. They know we’re crazy and told us to keep it down after 11pm but I don’t think they expected this. I’m sure they’re all thinking, “Dear God, they’ve been here 20 minutes and they’re already running around without pants on.” So that’s good. I’m so excited to be here and can’t wait until I get 5 days off in a row to just sit by this pool that overlooks the perfect water. Ughh. Yayayay!!
*Totally stole this from a classmate who said it yesterday but I thought it was brilliant and will overuse it as much as possible and take ownership over it. Creativity is just hiding your sources.**
**Obviously I stole this quote too but that would just be weird to give credit to someone else for that quote…
***I know, Kelly, get my own thoughts.
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